Arwen'll and Legolas'll Think of a Reason Later
by RodaRolla2
Summary: Song fic! It mentions Mary-Sues! Basically, Two Sues steals Arwen's and Legolas' loves. Arwen and Legolas are niether happy nor amused. They come up with a song that describes their feelings towards the Sues! Legolas' vengeful side and Arwen's Mortal side come out to play... Those two, Sues and the stolen, are in for it. They will never be the same after the two Elves are done.


Okay! I have done the unthinkable! I have found the perfect theme-song for the canon characters and Mary-Sues combined! I guarantee you'll think so too! Arwen shall be singing it alongside Legolas since I don't see her getting much love within the slash fandom and since these Mary-Sues would be affecting Legolas' love. *coughBOROMIRcough* I was listening to the chorus and I immediately thought 'OMg She was singing about a Mary-Sue!' Name of the song and artist will be at the end, I have slightly modified the lyrics to fit LotR and Arwen. I'll put the original lyrics at the end with the song and artist. **This is Arwen's part in bold. **_This is Legolas' part in italics._ _**This is both of theirs parts. **_This in normal font will be normal story telling or speaking

* * *

Arwen sighed as she glared at the girl standing beside Aragorn. She started to sing softly.

"**I heard he was gonna marry some girl from Gondor. Then Legolas came over, had the Herald's Notice with him. There was the girl on the first page, lookin' in love and all engaged. We decided she don't take a very good portrait."**

Arwen and Legolas giggled at the girl on the page, who looked the prettiest to most everyone in Arda. They were the exceptions. Though, it didn't matter that THEY were the prettiest, not some girls that 'came from Gondor', or the rest of the universe apparently.

**"It may be my family's Mortal nature, rubbin' off, bringin' out unlady-like behavior.  
It sure ain't Elven to judge a stranger, but I don't like her."**

Arwen could feel the mortal in her trying to get free. She was humoring it.

"**She may be an angel who spends all her time savin' people from orcs and spiders, a regular Middle-earth savior, but I really hate her. I'll think of a reason later."**

Arwen grimaced at what she had heard she did for Middle-earth. She had even heard tell that she claimed to be the one to have saave Frodo from the Nazgul. That skimpy, little, whimpy shrimp had taken credit for what she had done and brain-washed everyone else into thinking she had! There was another girl that had gone after Legolas' love that had claimed credit for all of Legolas' deeds. Heh, heh, Legolas was plotting her downfall and how he would forgive him. I pity the Gondorian, not the girl, but Legolas' love. Then again, he shouldn't have a wandering eye, should he?

_"I drew horns and blacked out her tooth with some ink. Childish, yes, but she made such a thin little target. I couldn't be happier on my own, but I've got the slightest of a jealous bone, and seein' her with him tends to enlarge it."_

Legolas had been so furious and heartbroken when he had left him for that little... that little... OH! How he hated her! He had run to Arwen and the twins about her. Well, actually, only Arwen since she hated a girl like the one that took his love and the twins were so enthralled with the two girls that they wouldn't listen even if Legolas had told them. He was childish at times, but, he preferred to be called impish.

_"It may be my family's very short tempers, rubbin' off, bringin' out un-prince-like behavior. It sure ain't Elven to judge a stranger, but I don't like her."_

Legolas had lost his temper and any shred kindness or stuff like that with that shrimp when she had waltzed in and went after his love. He was never known for his forgiving nature, rather for his venegful nature. That girl had better watch her back.

"_She may be an angel who spends all her time kickin' every orc's butt from the Shire to Mordor, a regular Middle-earth saver, but I really hate her. I'll think of a reason later."_

Legolas laughed as Arwen shot an arrow strait through the girls' faces. They were enjoying mutilating the girls, even if it was just portraits. Legolas was seething as he thought of how the girl had brainwashed the world into thinking that she was the best warrior and prettiest person alive. She had claimed credit for Frodo's destroying of the Ring, for his part in the Fellowship, and even in the entire war! How she made him seethe!

"_**Inside their heads may lay all the answers, for curin' diseases from baldness to cancer, self-proclaimed stars of Moring and Evening, and some real good dancers, but we really hate them. We'll think of a reason later."**_

Those things of Gondor might be able to solve all of Middle-earth's problems, but Legolas and Arwen didn't care. They were the stars, Elbereth's favorites, not some creatures from Gondor. Legolas had his plan on how he would forgive his love. That Gondorian, both girl and the Man, would learn not to try the Morning Star. Arwen would show her Ranger and the creature of Gondor not to try the Eveningstar either. Then they would switch, Legolas beat the crap out the Ranger even though he was his best friend, Arwen do the same to the Gondorian that Legolas loved, and then both would go after the creatures of Gondor.

**A few days later**

"_Well, it was just one tooth..."_ Legolas replied sheepishly to his Gondorian who had found the portrait that he had mutilated of the creature of Gondor.

"Uh-uh... It was not princely for you to do it, either way. You acted like a jealous child." He sighed and closed his eyes.

"I prefer being called 'a mischievous imp,' Boromir." Legolas grinned as Boromir rolled his eyes.

"**Did I mention I don't particularly care for her?"** Arwen smiled innocently to her Ranger.

"Several times, but ruining a wedding is something that very bad." He replied.

"Then you agree with me that she deserved it?" Arwen said.

"No," he said.

"She ruined our wedding, remember?" Arwen snapped and stormed away. He slapped himself for not remembering and acting like a fool.

"Arwen..." He called from outside her door to her room. "I'm sorry, you were right, please come out here."

"Yes, Aragorn?" Arwen opened the door and looked at the Ranger.

"She did deserve it." Aragorn sighed.

"_**She makes me sick..."**_ Both Legolas and Arwen thought that night as they lay in their beloveds' embrace about their respective creatures that stole away their loves.

Everything is as it should be. Legolas wrapped up in his beloved Boromir's strong embrace as they lay back on the grass in the gardens of Rivendell looking at the stars. Arwen in Aragorn's ebrace as they listened to those in the Hall of Fire.

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Done! The song is 'I'll Think of a Reason Later' by Lee Ann Womack. Time for the original lyrics:

I heard he was gonna marry some girl from Denver  
Then my sister came over, had the Sunday paper with her  
There was the girl on the social page  
Lookin' in love and all engaged  
We decided she don't take a very good picture

It may be my family's redneck nature  
Rubbin' off, bringin' out unlady-like behavior  
It sure ain't Christian to judge a stranger  
But I don't like her  
She may be an angel who spends all winter  
Bringin' the homeless blankets and dinner  
A regular Nobel Peace Prize winner  
But I really hate her  
I'll think of a reason later

I drew horns and blacked out her tooth with a marker  
Childish, yes, but she made such a thin little target  
I couldn't be happier on my own  
But I've got the slightest of a jealous bone  
And seein' her with him tends to enlarge it

It may be my family's redneck nature  
Rubbin' off, bringin' out unlady-like behavior  
It sure ain't Christian to judge a stranger  
But I don't like her  
She may be an angel who spends all winter  
Bringin' the homeless blankets and dinner  
A regular Nobel Peace Prize winner  
But I really hate her  
I'll think of a reason later

Inside her head may lay all the answers  
For curin' diseases from baldness to cancer  
Salt of the earth and a real good dancer  
But I really hate her  
I'll think of a reason later

Well, it was just one tooth  
Did I mention I don't particularly care for her?  
She makes me sick...

Review please!


End file.
